Try To Get Along Without Kaoru
by Misao Silent-mode
Summary: *Kind of AU*. Outburstingly, Kaoru gets the sac from "Rurouni Kenshin" cast. How will they manage to go on without her? Will they and their director be able to whip a solution up and save the show? *Chapter 4 is on... NOW IT'S COMPLETE!*
1. 0 What To Do Now?

.:Disclaimers:. Rurouni Kenshin's characters are Watsuki-sensei's. Pat Hobby is a character by F. Scott Fitzgerald and he's not the director of any shooting (read "Pat Hobby does his bit" and find out why he's working in this fic). This fanfiction is MINE, Misao Silent-mode's (mwahahaha!). 

Try To Get Along Without Kaoru

**0- What To Do Now?**

"I QUIT!"

Dozens of "oro?" faces peeped up on Rurouni Kenshin set when Kaoru Kamyia shouted agrily. Pat Hobby, the director, rushed from his foldable chair trying to talk to the girl and fix the situation.

"Kaoru, Kaoru-chan, come here, let's have some talk..." the director pondered, while following the young mistress that went on stomping to the backstage. "Please, be reasonable..."

"Being reasonable?" Kaoru stopped dead glared him. "Being reasonable, you tell me? I haven't done anything else since we started shooting! No way, Pat. I've done my bit."

"But, but... Kenshin!" he shouted desperatly to the _rurouni_, the only person at the whole set who was still "oro"-faced. "Kenshin, do something! Try to convince her!"

"Why _sessha_?" Kenshin cried.

"Because I am the director and I'm telling you to!"

That was enough of a reason for Kenshin to come after Kaoru. He blocked her way and held her hands tenderly.

"Kaoru-dono, please... Let's try the scene again. _Sessha_ will do everything right this time...

"NO!" she shrieked, making him fall back, legs up. Treading on his head, she went on and reached the dressing room. Impressed with Kenshin's awkwardness, Pat followed her and tried once again to dissuade her from leaving Rurouni Kenshin's cast.

"Kaoru-chan... You're one of our most important characters! You can't just leave!"

"Oh, I can." she nodded, placing her stuff that were on the counter in a suitcase. "I can and I am already doing. I give up!"

"Kaoru! What will we do without you, my dear?"

"You are the director. How should I know? I know what _I_ am going to do: I'm getting to Watsuki-sensei's office to comunicate my getting the sac." she closed the suitcase and turned her back. Pat stood there for some minutes, helplessly sitting on her chair.

^_^x

"Pat-sama..." Megumi knocked on the dressing romm's door, about half an hour later. Pat nodded and asked her to come in. She handed him a piece of paper. "Watsuki-sensei sent you this... I guess it's about Kaoru's leaving..."

Unfolding the piece of paper, he took a deep breath and sighed afterwards. "Megumi-chan... can you please gather all the cast?"

"Everybody? You mean, Jin-e, Sagara-taichou, the picture salesman, everybody?"

"Yes, Meggie... Please?"

When Megumi had done what he asked her, Pat got to the set, took a megaphone and talked to everybody there.

"Hello, folks. I believe everybody knows Kaoru Kamyia has left the show. I've just recieved from Watsuki-sensei the following note: 'Pat Hobby, Kamyia-san's the second actress to leave. I had to crack my brains to find a way to take Tomoe-chan from the story and killing her character was the only solution. But I won't kill Kaoru's character. You'll have to remake the story for your own, and I'll take no part on it. But if I ever deslike it, Rurouni Kenshin ceases to exist. Good luck, Nobuhiro Watsuki'."

"Uh, Pat... What does it all mean?" Sanosuke raised his hand like a primary school student.

"Unfortunately, Sagara-kun, it means that we'll have to reshoot all the show. But if Watsuki-sensei doesn't like, we'll all be fired. You, the cast... And me, the director."

Many shocked sighs could be heard. Pat shushs them and goes on telling. "I'll need cooperation from everybody. I have thought about some solutions, we'll test many new forms to Rurouni Kenshin, alright? I'll write your roles' new synthesis and give it to you tomorrow, then we'll test them, one by one. Be here by nine in the morning so that we'll have plenty of time to test the new solutions, alright? You're all released for today."

The cast went away and Pat Hobby stayed, brushing his beard thoughtful. He heaved himself on his chair and started typewriting on his laptop.

**_To Be Continued..._**


	2. 1 Fox vs Fox

Try To Get Along Without Kaoru

**1- Fox vs. Fox**

On the following day, Kenshin arrived at the set earlier. He just had to walk in to see Pat Hobby sitting asleep on his chair, the laptop on his legs. The _rurouni_ felt a sudden pitty and approached, waking the director up. "Hobby-sama? It's already morning..."

"Hmpf... Oh, Kenshin!" Pat jumped awkwardly, waking up and yawning soundly. "Good morning... What time is it?"

"Hm... Six o'clock." Kenshin said, looking to the watch on Pat's wrist.

Pat rubbed his face, then glared the ex-Battousai. "What? And how do you dare to wake me up at six? The shooting only begins at ten, you maniac! Besides, what are _you_ doing awake by this time?

"Uh, sorry, Hobby-sama... _Sessha_ woke up earlier today to water _sessha_'s sunflowers, and he remembered to drop by and see if you needed some help."

Pat frowned. "Watering your sunflowers?" He chuckled. "I don't know why Watsuki-sensei wants me to whip you a pairing up..." Kenshin got oro-faced. "By the way, thanks you for coming to help me, but I have already decided what to do. I've talked to some friends of mine and some outstanding actresses and I've made up my mind on a solution. I'll tell you when all the cast is there... wait and you'll see."

^_^x

About ten o'clock, all the cast gathered to recieve the sheets of typewriten paper with new role' synthesis. Pat took his megaphone and talked to them gravely. "Hello, everybody. To solve the problem Kaoru's abscence caused us, in a desperate effort not to let the show sink, we'll have to do some changes on the original script. I hope everybody has his own on hand's reach, for we'll use it as a base. We'll have to improvise the speeches, but somethings will still following the story Watsuki-sensei had passed us. To diminish the hole Kaoru has left, I've hired an actress that all of you must know." Steping aside, they could see a slender (yet buxom) figure showing up from the dressing room. "People, I want everybody to give a great 'hello' to Mitsune, 'Love Hina' actress."

Coming to Pat's side, Mitsune weaved a great "peace-and-love" sign, as the original Rurouni Kenshin cast had different reactions: Kenshin, as usual, got oro-faced; Okina fixed the ribbon on his beard, wolf-eyed; Sanosuke passed his tongue discretely on his lips; Megumi and Yumi stared at each other and glared at the newcomer. "OK, folks, let's work then!" Pat claped his hands twice.

Seeming relieved, the director sat easily on his foldable chair, smiled widely -even among all the strange looks, from the cast and the staff- and shouted largely. "Rurouni Kenshin first scene, take one...GO!"

On the director's sign, Mitsune walked sensually through an alley, a pretense innocent look in her eyes dancning through the dark. Suddenly, four crooks appeared showing their thirst sick smiles and encircled the girl. She heaved herself on the floor and acted dramatically.

From a roof, Kenshin's violet eyes roared with fury. "Leave her alone" He jumped and stroke the four crooks down, taking the attacked girl on his arms and taking her to... "Hobby-sama! Where to?"

"CUT!" Pat tapped his own face once or twice. "Kenshin, what are you doing?"

"_Sessha_ means... Hobby-sama didn't tell us where to take her. Where does Mitsune-dono lives? What does she do?" Kenshin reasoned, yet carrying Mitsune on his arms. She had then opened her eyes and hugged the _rurouni_ by his neck, making Megumi glare greenly.

"Oh.. I forgot about it..." Pat scratched his beard impatiently...

"May I give you a suggestion?" Tae interfered, coming up from the dressing room. "Maybe I'll need some adult help in Akabeko, so why don't you just bring Mistune-san to the restaurant and we solve the problem?"

Looking from face to face, Pat saw no disagreement -or agreement either- so he accepted Tae's solution, for he had none of his own. "Outstanding, Tae-chan." He asserted, coming back to his chair. "Let's do it again, OK? We go from the 'leave her alone' stuff, right? Rurouni Kenshin first scene, take two... GO!"

Once again Kenshin roared, once again the crooks were knokced down, once again he took a dramatic-looking Mitsune on his arms and dropped her by the Akabeko. When he turned his back to leave, he felt a small hand slipping "accidentally" to his butts. "ORO?!"

"Fucking hell, CUUUUUUT! Kenshin what's up now?"

"Uh... er... _Sessha_... ORO!!!"

"Grr... To hell with your 'Oro'!" Pat grabbed Kenshin's hair and took him out from the scene. "Let's go on from this point, cut the piece of tape, cam-man. Take three, GO!"

Some scenes had to be re-shot, since Mitsune was always letting the men in some embarassing situation, till Pat got tired and released everybody to lunch -not without calling Megumi and Yumi who kept very agnry-faced and telling them to cool off and have lunch with their new companion.

Off to the cafeteria beside Megumi, Yumi said goodbye and left, since she wasn't shooting on that day. Megumi sat on a table with Kenshin and Sanosuke, and ate normally till Mistune arrived. She sat by the _rurouni_'s side and in front of the doctor, who looked piercingly to her. So as to make things lighter, Kenshin -whiping up some of his lovely smiles- started a conversation.

"Uh... Mistune-dono--"

"Kitsune", she interrupted, a foxy smile on her lips. "You can call me Kitsune." Megumi smoked with anger.

"Ok, then... Kitsune-dono. Don't you still working on 'Love Hina'?"

"Oh, I do. But I don't shoot a lot in there, my character has long periods of abscence... In reality" she hugged Kenshin in a choking way "I don't enjoy 'Love Hina' all that much... very few men!"

"There must be a reason for that..." Megumi muttered, being nudged by Sanosuke just afterwards. Mitsune pretended not to hear, yet she looked smily to the doctor.

No more was said during lunch. Back to the set, Yahiko seemed to enjoy his new role a lot...

"Yes, Yahiko. You're gonna be a perverted kendo student and you'll now learn _Hiten Mitsurugi_, not _Kamyia Kasshin_ anymore." Pat asserted, for Yahiko didn't believe when he first told him. The boy hopped and cheered around till Mitsune crowned him and he fell unawake. For this reason, they had to shoot Sanosuke's scenes first, and that would get Megumi really upset.

After crashing two fighters on the Akabeko, Sanosuke left the restaurant, while Kenshin and Mitsune stared at him walking further and talked about him. "He's got a _kanji_ on his shirt." Mitsune cried, holding Kenshin's shoulder.

"It means 'evil'. But _sessha_ doesn't think he's a bad man..." Kenshin said gravely.

"Yeah... He's very handsome..." Mitsune muttered, causing Kenshin to look her sideways, a bit wide-eyed. Sharp-eared, Megumi started to chew her script by Pat Hobby's side.

Before they finished shooting his scene, Sanosuke triped on a branch, falling face to the ground and causing everybody on set to laugh. Not loosing the good humor, the prizefighter stood laying on the ground and said aloud, among chuckles. "Yeah, that's a Meiji branch!" This comment made everybody -except for Katsu- laugh even more.

Muffled by the people's laugh, Mitsune stated among chuckles. "He gets so sexy like this!" Just one person heard this -and it was enough, for it was Megumi who did.

Red and smoking as pasta sauce, Megumi approached, glared at her and shouted slow and firmly. "What did you say?" All the people on the set stopped dead and turned to her. Mitsune was still laughing. Face that, Megumi grew even redder, as Mitsune looked at her, a mocking look in her eyes. "There's no room enough in this show for two _kitsune_. One fox must leave: you or me.

"Jealousy?" Mitsune provoked. "I think there are enough men for the both of us."

When this was said they had to be torn apart for they were close to physical assault. Sanosuke held a furious Megumi and avoided her to get jumping over Mitsune's neck -in reality, the foxy doctor wasn't that angry anymore, but she wanted the prizefighter to still clenching her by the waist.

Peacefully Mitsune left the show. "This cast is too selfish and old-fashioned for a modern woman like me. Begging your pardon, I'm going to 'Love Hina' set, see if Keitaro-kun has left yet. I hope not. Ohohohoho!" She said, leaving the set and getting Megumi even angrier.

"SHE'S COPYING MY LAUGH! I'M THE ONLY AND ORIGINAL KITSUNE-ONA, DID YOU LISTEN TO ME?!" the doctor hopped with rage between Sanosuke's arms.

After this, nobody was in any mood for shooting anymore. The cast left bit by bit, everybody was still a little startled, Megumi still clutching Sanosuke's arm -she was affraid of running into that false fox, that one, hmpf!- and just Kenshin remained. Sitting by Pat Hobby, the _rurouni_ tried to cheer the director up.

"Come on, Hobby-sama. It's just our first try..."

"Yes, Kenshin... you're right.... we still have time... I'll try to whip up something for tomorrow... Go home, Himura. You must be tired of so much oroing...

Kenshin smiled and left, while Pat Hobby heaved himself on his chair and started typewriting once again. It would be a long anfternoon, but perhaps he'd have some time to take a nap -who knows?

_**To be continued**_


	3. 2 Rainbow Rurouni

Try To Get Along Without Kaoru

**2- Rainbow Rurouni**

It had been two days since Kaoru left outburstingly. Everybody seemed very relaxed but Pat Hobby, for he knew they'd maybe have to shoot for many days till they got to a solution. After his second night awake he was already feeling dog tired, much for his worry, for he thought he wouldn't last much long alive like that.

Once again, Kenshin was the first one to get to the set, at nine. Pat was laying on the floor, sleeping heavily and snoreing soundly enough to keep the birds away. The _rurouni_ thought he'd better do something to help, so he gathered Pat's papers and whiped up some coffee. Feeling the warm scent, the director woked up, yet kind of giddy. Rubbing his eyes, he walked to Kenshin.

"Good morning, Hobby-sama."

"Hmmm... did you get from bed early again because of your sunflowers?" Pat said, scratching his head.

Kenshin smiled. "No, _sessha_ always wakes up this time, _de gozaru yo_. Go, Hobby-sama. Take a shower and come have some coffee."

Pat muffled a chuckle. "He's just being gentle, Pat... But I think I had done the right role... hehehe" he thought to himself, while leading to the ladies's dressing room, where he took a long cold shower. Coming back outside, Kenshin was sitting on the set, reading his script. Pat got a cup of coffee and sat by the _rurouni_'s side, taking a look at his papers. "Kenshin-kun, I suggest you to... nearly forget these papers."

Kenshin raised his head and cocked it afterwards. "Oro? Why should _sessha_ do such a thing?"

"Euh... When you read your role' new synthesis you'll understand..." Pat raised himself, leading to his chair, where Kenshin had placed the typewriten papers he spent the previous afternoon and night producing. He intended to give Kenshin's papers before all the cast arrived, but just when he grabbed them, the actors started coming in. It would be an embarassing situation, but Pat made up his mind to wait everybody to come, since it was too late to make it private.

Again gathered, the cast listened to what Pat Hobby had to say. Megaphone in hand, the director talked to everybody, trying to look calm and firm, yet with a slight desperate tune on his voice. "Good morning, folks. You all must remember our... how can I say... crashing experience of yesterday. But our effort must go on. And, keeping this in mind, I whiped up another solution to keep Rurouni Kenshin alive." With this say, all the women in the set glinged their partners. Pat got almost oro-faced and scratched his beard nervously. "Relax, my dear cuties... I didn't hire anybody this time. In fact there'll be few changes on your original roles. I guess the great change will be taken by our good Kenshin."

Kenshin got scarred, but still acted normally, in order to encourage Pat and his friends. All the actors seemed relieved, yet curious to know what would be their companion's fate, and so the distribuition of the typewriten sheets of paper began. Kenshin was the last person to recieve it and the first one to shout. "O...OOOOOORORO?!?!?!?!?!?!" Pat bowed forth and protected his ear with one hand. "Kami-sama! What is it, Hobby-sama?" the shocked _rurouni_ cried out.

"Erm... It was kinda difficult to solve the problem, so I imagined this." Pat faltered "Try to see it this way: maybe it'll make the story modern, free from prejudices and--"

"What the hell did you write after all?" Sanosuke raised his had, again looking like a primary student.

"Well, I... I... In fact, the point is that I..." he faltered, before muttering fast. "...turnedhimintoatagrurouni."

"What?"

"Tag! Queer! Sissy! Shemale! Gay! Homossexual!" Kenshin glared Sanosuke, furiously bowing forth with each word and threatening the prizefighter with his body and his angry voice. "From now on, _sessha_ will play the lady! No Kaoru-dono will be needed because _sessha_'s character doesn't enjoy women, _DE GOZARU YO_!"

The whole cast kept silent for a moment, staring each other. Then all of them -including Kamatari- burst into loud and wide laugher, while Kenshin kept red -we'll never know if it was anger or shame-, balled fist, looking sideways to Pat Hobby with his yellow eyes -Battousai eyes. The director got so straw-yellow when he saw the peaceful _rurouni_ turned in such a beast -and glaring at him- that he thought it'd be better to slip out and see what Yahiko was doing. At least until Kenshin calmed down.

Getting to the lord's dressing room he saw Yahiko tieing his pants, and just then he remembered the boy wasn't outside when he gave the actors their new roles. Taking a glimpse of the director's figure, the _Kamyia Kasshin_ ex-apprentice came closer. "Hey, Pat-sama. May we have some small-talk, uh?"

"Well Yahiko-kun, I don't believe this is the best moment to--"

"Aw, come on! It'll take us just a few seconds. It's just the time to say 'yes'."

Pat frowned. "Say 'yes' to what?"

"Oh, a small idea o'mine. I know Kitsune didn't do here in Rurouni Kenshin. But what if we keep my character as it's become when she entered the cast?"

"Erm... Yahiko-kun... In reality, the _Hiten Mitsurugi_ stuff was really going to be kept. With a sliiiiight change..." Pat said, handing the boy his role' new synthesis.

Few seconds later, a crashing sound was heard and Pat was seen flying helplessly from the dressing room and falling outside it, face to the floor, followed by Yahiko's scream. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY 'HIMURA KENSHIN'S NEW PAIRING'? I REFUSE! I COME FROM A SAMURAI NOBLE FAMILY!"

Kenshin, who looked calmer and had the the peaceful _rurouni_ face again, came to the young boy and tried to ease him. "Yahiko-kun... I think we should try it out."

Yahiko wided his eyes and looked sideways to Kenshin, a scarred and suspicious look.

Kenshin got nearly-oro-faced. "NNNo! What _sessha_ means is that we should try to ACT this way. Think like this, Yahiko-kun: if we don't play the... erm... couple--" Many muffled laughs were heard, causing Kenshin to turn angrily to his companions and shush all of them, then turn to Yahiko once again. "As _sessha_ was saying, if we don't play the couple, we won't be able to save the show, and we'll be fired, as well as all our friends."

Yahiko looked aside and nodded thoughtfully, then raised his finger conclusiveley. "I'm going to Pokémon set see if they need a stuntman to Ash." He stated calmly, turning round to leave.

"NO!" Pat Hobby clenched him by the collar desperatelly. "Yahiko-kun pleeeeeeeeeeease? Don't make me loose my job! How will I be able to save my jalopy?" The director started to put on act, wet eyes and worried face, sniffs and sobs every now and then.

Yahiko looked sideways, a grave expression on his face. With suspicious and flat voice, he asked. "I won't have to have sex with Kenshin, will I?"

"Nooo!" Pat shook his head firmly, helpless expression and voice.

"I won't have to kiss Kenshin, will I?"

"Nooo..."

"I won't have to say I love him, will, I?"

"NN... Well maybe just some times..." Pat faltered, smiling sickly. Yahiko raised his eyebrowns angrily. "Oh, oh... K-Kenshin, did you say "times"? No it's "time", just once, just once..."

Yahiko looked annoyedly to Kenshin, who shook his shoulders and cocked his head, an attitude that made clear that they had no other issues. Without a single word Yahiko nodded, rolling his eyes. Pat cheered and hopped away to the set. "Ah! Nice then, let's start, folks?"

Kenshin smiled and meant to lead to the set, but Yahiko held his ponytail, pulled him close and muttered angrily. "I'm telling you, beware with your hands, am I clear enough?" And headed to the set, leaving an oro-faced Kenshin behind. Patientless, Pat spilled a glass of cold water on the _rurouni_'s face, pulling him to the set.

^_^x

"Kenshin! Don't get so tense!" Pat interrupted the scene with his mettalic voice from the megaphone. "And you, Yahiko! You're just an undefined by, not a drag queen!"

"Come on, Pat-sama!" Yahiko turned his back. "I don't know how should a daisie act!"

"Just like any other man! The way you're doing you look like one of those talking dolls!" Pat raised himself from his chair, folded his arms and stiffened his body, imitating a doll, a shrieking tune on his voice. "Ma-ma! Ma-ma! Ken-shin! Ma-ma!". All the people in the set laughed, Pat joined them.

"Hehee... But, how should I do then?" Yahiko took it with impresing good humor.

"Huumm..." Pat rubbed his beard, then a sudden idea occured to him. "Hey, Kamatari-san! Can you please come here and help me out?"

Puffy with pride, the "schythe tinicky" walked languidly to among the flats, then approached to the dircetor, whispering in his ear. "Why don't you call me afetuously, like you do with all the other girls? What about Kamie?"

Pat widened his eyes, got ghastly and shuddered his body, such as if an electrical current quivered up his spine. "Uh, we talk about it later, ok?" he said, stepping further.

Annoyedly, yet smily, Kamatari came closer to Yahiko and placed his/her hand on the boy's shoulder, who retreated a little. "Hey, tiny boy, all you have to do is act normally!"

"Normally to you, you mean..." Yahiko mumbled.

Kamatari licked his/her lip and held hir/hes scythe tight in hir/hes hands. "You act normally, just like me. But I know how to be gracious and dangerous when someone teases me." Yahiko stared at the big scythe and gulped.

"G-Got it..." Yahiko coughed, nodding and steping further.

Seeing himself/herself released from the other two men, Kamatari approached to Kenshin. "So? Would you like some 'classes' as well?"

The _rurouni_ stiffened and smiled sickly. "Eh, hehe... No, _sessha_ thinks he can manage it..."

Kamatari winked one eye and smiled. "Ah! I understand... You had NEVER decieved me... Battousai.... hahaha!" Kamatari said, turning to leave, singing. "_Elle est éclosé un beau matin, au jardin triste de mon coeur.... Avec an 'F' rose, 'F' comme fleur..._" 

"_C'est pas 'rose'... c'est fuchsie..._" Kenshin tought to himself, red as a beet, while everybody on the set stared the Juupon Gatana fighter leaving, fresh as a daisy.

^_^x

By the end of the day, just a few scenes had been shot and they were very late on the tapes, for Pat was always stopping the acts and they had to shoot four or even five times each scene.

The director was thrilled. "We won't have enough time to shot and exhibit. The tv channel will end up cutting down on our timing and that will surely undervalue the show! What will we do now?" He cried out pulling his hair down.

"Hobby-sama..." Kenshin came closer. "_Sessha_'s affraid to say this solution didn't do either. It's difficult to _sessha_ to play pairing with anybody but Kaoru-dono. Specially if this pairing is a... boy! It's really difficult to play the homossexual..." Muffled laughs were widely heard but, in the name of friendship and peace, Kenshin pretended not to hear.

"Maybe you're right. Again." Pat sighed. "I guess I'll spend another night awake, fixing things..."

From among the actors, Misao jumped, trying to be seen. "Hey, Pat! I guess the actors gotta work too! It's not fair to leave all the work to you!"

Pat raised his head. For a moment everybody stood silent, while the elfin ninja got to the director's side. "So? Who's with us?"

Sayo was the first one to step forward. Megumi followed her, Enishi, Sanosuke, even Kanryuu, and soon almost all the cast was in. Pat smiled. "Thanks, Missie. Thanks everybody. But the capitain of this ship is still being me."

"Hey, Pat." Yumi got closer. "You can just write a draft, a base, and we'll improvise the details together? What do you think of it?"

Pat smiled and accepted, then released everybody, going to his jalopy just afterwards. He sat comfortably on the front sit and fired the old companion up, heading to a gas station. Once in there, he carried an old habit out: he filled the tank up, while having some whisky. "Drinking with the jalopy", as he used to say. He drew his laptop fom the glove compartment, looked to the fuel pump and raised his bottle. "Cheers."

**_To be continued_**

.:Author Notes:. I gotta do some clearing ups and disclaimers. The song sang by Kamatari is by Adamo. It's "F... Comme Femme", known in Charles Aznavour version. The part sang by the adorable "scythe tinicky" means, more or less: "She had bloomed in a beautiful morning, on the sad garden that is my heart... with a pink 'F', flower 'F'.". Kenshin's thought afterwards means "It's not pink, it's fuchsia.". Another thing that must be said is that this habit of Pat's (to drink with the car) was also writen by F. Scott Fitzgerald, on his "Pat Hobby Does His Bit", story from wich I took this stubborn and awkward (yet remarkable) character.


	4. 3 Futaenokiwami Ryuu

Try To Get Along Without Kaoru

**3- Futae-no-kiwami Ryuu**

When Kenshin arrived at the set, at nine o'clock, Pat was getting out of the men's dressing room, a towel around his waist and renewed mood. "Awh, Kenshin-kun! I was about to talk to you! May we have some chat?" 

Glad to see the director in such a good humor, Kenshin smiled and sat down, waiting for him to say his say. "_Sessha_'s listening. Is it about our try for today?" 

"Yeah, it is!" the director started to get dressed. "Kenshin, Sanosuke's your best friend, isn't it?" 

Kenshin cocked his head. "_Hai_, he's _sessha_'s best friend, but--" 

"And what you think of him?" 

Kenshin shook his shoulders. "Well, he's a very good man, faithful and persistent, and also strong, but kind of outburster and child-hearted. But--" 

"So I guess you wish him the best, isn't it?" Pat interrupted him again. 

"Well, _sessha_ wishes the best for everybody here, but being _sessha_'s best friend, it's kind of presumable that _sessha_ wishes him the best, _de gozaru ka_? Why?" 

"Hold your horses, it's my turn to ask. So, do you enjoy your work? I mean, your role?" 

The _rurouni_ frowned with such a sudden change on their subject. "Indeed. But _sessha_ still hadn't understand where Hobby-sama wants to get to." 

Pat sat in front of Kenshin and talked nervously, smily, shaking his hands as if he wanted them to talk. "My friend, I think Rurouni Kenshin demands a real change. A giganteous one." 

Kenshin whiped up one of those lovely smiles of his and brushed the back of his neck. "Well, Hobby-sama, if you don't mind _sessha_'s saying so, anything that is changed on the original script by now will cause an enormous change. Kaoru-dono's character was one of the most important ones." 

"Ha, you got it!" The director clapped his hands once. "So, would you ever mind to have an important role, but not the most important one?" 

Kenshin giggled. "Absolutely not. If everybody's alright, _sessha_ demands no main character." 

Pat Hobby's face became bright and cheerful. "Oh, Kenshin... Your humbleness and devotion makes me so proud of being your director..." He said, clenching Kenshin's _gi_ in a very particular and dramatic way. 

The peaceful _rurouni_ got startled. "_Sessha_ thinks Hobby-sama did drink too much yesterday..." Pat just laughed and nodded, getting up. "Can Hobby-sama at least tell _sessha_ what your idea is after all?" 

"Put things together, my friend. Build the puzzle if you don't want to be caught unawares..." Pat patted Kenshin's shoulder and left, while the _rurouni_ stood quizzically cock-headed. 

^_^x 

"Hey, folks! Pay attention to me, please!" Pat hobby gathered all the cast when everybody had already been there. "It's our third day of try and I feel today we'll get to a solution to the problem that settled down when Kaoru-chan left the show. I'll tell it quickly so as to speed up our time, 'cuz today we'll have a lot of work to do. The name of the show had been changed." 

A buzz of people whispering could be heard, all of them speculating what Pat's new idea had been or what he would have meant with such a strange statement. The director tried to shush them but, since nobody hed him, he spoke, from the top of his lungs, the new name he created for the show. "RUROUNI SANOSUKE!" 

For a moment, silence landed over the set and all the cast turned their heads to Pat... to Sanosuke... and finally to Kenshin... then back to Pat Hobby, who smiled triumphatically over how surprising his revelation had been. 

"ORORO?" a voice was heard. All the actors turned immediately to Kenshin, guessing he had got oro-faced once again... but amazingly, nobody saw a trace of oro in Kenshin's expression. In fact -and noby knew it-, he had already guessed what it was when Pat asked him so many questions -and he had already had his oro-time then. It was Megumi to realize and point where the sound came from. 

Misao waved her hand in front of Sanosuke's eyes, but he managed no motion. This was due to his bugged eyes and his wide-opened mouth. "O...O...OROOO?" Patientless, Megumi ran to him and boxed his ears, making him come afloat to reality again, with a shake of his head. Back to consciousness and rejoining his thoughts, Sanosuke asked incredule. "Hey, Pat. Do ya mean I'm gonna be the new leading man?" 

"Good boy! Got it." Pat pointed him. "The smallest change I can figure out for now is exchanging the roles of Kenshin's and Sanosuke's. From now on, Sanosuke will play the strider and Kenshin will be the prizefighter. Now you've all been comunicated, I ask Kenshin to lend his clothes to his mate -you won't mind, guys, will you?" 

Bomb. The reactions from the actors were different: some thought it'd be strange, some thought it was suitable, some just laughed. And among this range of opinions, Sanosuke and Kenshin led to the dressing room. 

"Hey, Pat-sama!" Misao came to the director's side. "What about the rest of the characters?" 

"Hm... Uh... I hadn't had time to think about them... We'll have to improvise." 

"Hey, remember what we settled yesterday? Everybody would help out a little to make the show go on. I think it would be fair if we wrote ourselves the script, for we know each other well enough to guess their reactions face some situations! While some shoot, the others re-arrange the next scenes. It will save us a lot of time, and I've already talked to some people who agreed with the idea!" 

Pat clacked his fingers and accepted the girl's suggestion, selecting like this a "writing group", composed mainly by the Oniwabanshuu and the Juupon Gatana joined. They curled up in front of the dressing room, gathered to discuss the new synthesis new speeches, new reactions, new time and sequel of scenes. 

While everybody was busy sharing tasks, Kenshin and Sanosuke were at the men's dressing room. While changing their clothes, Kenshin seemed confident. "Yeah, Sano. _Sessha_ thinks this time it will do..." 

^_^x 

"It won't do at all..." Sanosuke muttered with his flat expression from within Kenshin's clothes. Or almost within, for he was mainly OUT of the clothes: the _gi_'s sleeves covered little more than Sanosuke's elbows and the _hakama_ wasn't long even to the calfs of his legs. 

"Euh... Well, Sano-kun..." Pat brushed his beard, staring that riducule scene in front of his eyes. "It will make obvious how poor you had become after becoming a _rurouni_. And, talking about _rurouni_, where's Kenshin?" 

"He is in the dressing room." Aoshi muttered, sitting on a piece of flat. "He is heming Sanosuke's pants, for they were too long for him to wear." 

Pat didn't have the time to call the _rurouni_ due to Sanosuke's calling him back. "Yet, Pat... I think it's not ok... Ya see, pink doesn't fit me--" 

"IT'S NOT PINK! IT'S FUCHSIA!" Kenshin yelled from the dressing room. 

Sanosuke sighed. "Whatever it is, 't doesn't fit me..." he muttered then to Pat. "It makes me look like what you wanted Kenshin to look like yesterday." 

"Hm, it's not a bad idea..." Pat muttered, looking up to the ceiling. 

"OI!" 

"Ok, ok, forget about it..." Pat shook his hands. "Well, Sano... I'm sorry but--" 

"Aw, come on, Pat!" Sanosuke encircled the director, moving mallebly. "It won't look any serious on TV!" 

"But we have no other choice! How will we whip you clothing up now?" 

Sanosuke looked sideways to a corner and, convinced by his insistence, Pat negociated a bonus payment with Enishi, Sayo and Sagara-taichou and, in retribution, asked them to make Sanosuke some clothing like Kenshin's -in any other color, or the prizefighter would bounce him like a basketball ball. One hour later, the would-be taylors brought them a new kendo clothing looking worn out, an olive-green _gi_. 

Sanosuke wore it annoyedly. Looking to the mirror, he saw himself in white _hakama_, olive-green _gi_ and his faithful red strip, the sign of his beloved Sekihoutai. "Nice. Now I look like Rambo." 

"Rambo?" Megumi taunted, laughing. "All I see is a Gi-I-Joe figure! Ohohohohoho!" 

"Meggie, please! Don't make things any more difficult." Pat begged, turning to Sanosuke afterwards. "You look fabulous, Sano-kun, now let's shoot the first scene, we're already late." 

"Yeah? And what's the first scene?" Sanosuke asked skeptically. 

Pat got near to the writing group and recieved from them the first three scenes, re-aranged on Aoshi's script -for it was the only organized one. The director sat on his foldable chair, squinted and read it. "The one we've been shooting for days and days: the leading man saves the leading woman." 

"Ha!" Megumi jeered once again. "And who'd be this savage's leading woman?" 

"You, of course." 

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?" Megumi got flaming-red. 

"Eh, lehleh..." Now it was Sanosuke's turn to derisions. "It means that me and my dear foxy doctor are going to work officially as a pairing?" 

"Oh, no way at all, Pat!" Megumi stated firmly. "I won't do that, I refuse, refuse, refuse!" 

"Meggie... We have no choice... Can't you do a sliiiiight sacrifice for me? For the show?" Pat got up and embraced Megumi friendly, trying to persuade her. "Besides, all of us know it's not sacrifice for you to be Sano's pairing..." 

At this say, Megumi got so red -this time, due to shame- that she accepted immediatelly, avoiding Pat to expose everybody any other reason for her to do the role -who knows what he'd tell afterwards? In the other hand, Pat's eyes glimmered as he sat once again on his foldable chair and took his megaphone. "Rurouni Kenshin first scene, take one--" 

"Hey, hold on a minute, Pat!" Sanosuke raised his hand on his own way -like a primary school student. "May I ask ya why 'm a _rurouni_?" 

"Uh... euh... Well, because you killed many people on the Bakumatsu and then you got regretful." 

"In the Bakumatsu I was nine..." 

"You were a preccocious child." 

"Nice... But what about the Sekihoutai? They were slaughtered!" 

"And what does it matter? You belonged to Ishin Shishi." 

"I DID WHAT? Hey, hold on! I dunno how to fight with a sword!" 

Pat got lost. "Euh... I hadn't think about that either..." 

"Have you thought about anything at all?" the new _rurouni_ frowned skeptically, much for Pat's embarassment. 

"Shut up." the dircetor mumbled, then turned to the writing group. "Hey, guys, can your whip anithing up out there?" 

The group arranged on a circle and started mumbling and fumbling, getting to a solution just after. "Sanosuke didn't kill anybody. He becames a _rurouni_ just after the death of his companions from Sekihoutai." Anji comunicated. 

"And then, while wandering, he ran into Anji-sama, who taught him Futae-no-kiwami." Okon completed the story, banging by the monk's bloated body. 

Pat opened his arms and looked to Sanosuke. "Is it enough?" Sanosuke raised his eyebrowns and got to his position, as the director led back to his foldable chair and tried to start the shooting once again. "Rurouni Kenshin first scene, take one... GO! 

At Pat's sign, the lights were shut off and Megumi started walking on a desert alley, when she was encircled by three crooks... 

"CUT!" Pat shouted frightened. "There were supposed to be FOUR crooks! Where's the forth one?" 

"Didn't anybody tell you, Pat-san?" the actor who played one of the crooks stepped forward. "He's at the hospital. He was beaten so many times by Kenshin that he had to be taken to the hospital." 

"But, but, but how come? I don't remember having any accident here!" 

"Eh... We went on with the shooting and nobody took notice of his being knocked down on the floor. This morning, while getting the set ready for today, a cleaner found him the very place he fell down on." 

"Hmmm... It reminds me something..." Pat scratched his head. "By the way, let's go on from this point then. Rurouni Kenshin first scene, take two... GO! 

The crooks encircled Megumi once again -but this time a man came running like a cat, in an easy pace: it was Sanosuke. "Hey, guys. If I were ya I'd leave the cutie alone." The crooks assaulted him, but he dodged and started hitting them with strong punches and kicks. "I told ya!" he roared, while getting rid of the men. When he was through with them, he turned to Megumi, who layed unawake on the floor. He approached and lifted her with dificulty. "Hmpf! Hey, you're heavy, cutie..." 

"What did you say?" Megumi stopped acting and pummeled Sanosuke's head with her medicine chest. He tried to protect himself uselessly, without placing her on the ground back. 

"Goddamn, CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!" Pat scratched his face noisily, the getting up and approaching to the two defiants. "You both will reshoot this scene right now! And no bickering this time!" The director blew up. 

"He said I'm fat!" Megumi balled her fist. 

"I'm not guilty for her being plump!" 

"ENOUGH YOU BOTH!" Pat shouted angrily, his face smoking like barbecue. Realising how insanely mad the director had become, Sanosuke and Megumi decided to go reshooting peacefully and complaintless, fearing any reaction of Pat's. 

^_^x 

They strugled to shoot the first scenes -in fact, by lunchtime, just one and a half had been shot and another one and a half after it, before their new challenge... 

"It's Yahiko's turn now." Pat called the boy. 

He came to the director's side and whispered confidently. "So? We'll keep the perverted _Hiten Mitsurugi_ apprentice stuff?" 

"No." Pat said flatly. "You're gonna be Megumi's apprentice." 

Yahiko frowned. "And what style does she fight?" 

"She doesn't fight. She's a doctor. You'll be a medicine apprentice." 

Yahiko blinked twice. "W-What?" 

"Meggie will teach you medical science. You'll help her on Genzai-sensei's clinic." 

The boy giggled. "Owh, come on! I'm not able to do that!" 

Pat faced Yahiko ironically. "Manage it." 

The ex-_Kamyia Kasshin_ apprentice tried yet a bit more to dissuade Pat from that absurd idea, but the director had already made up his mind. Seeing there was no choice left for him, Yahiko swallowed and led to his scene. The first ones were just fine and he started thinking he had cared too much. But... 

Since Kenshin wasn't through with the clothing yet, they decided to record other scenes in order to save time, scenes wich the ex-_rurouni_ wouldn't be in. One of those scenes was part of an episode just about Megumi's work and how Sanosuke admired her dedication. And there was Yahiko, by her side, helping her. Everything was developing almost fine, when Pat finally announced that, in the following take, Megumi should treat a boy that was completely wrecked. Right in the beggining of the scene, Yahiko threw up. 

"CUT!" Pat cried out, asking God why He was being so cruel to such a small man he was. 

"I--I think I feel sick..." Yahiko babbled. When he could breathe almost normally again, they went on with the scene, the boy still wan and ghastly. Megumi -who was a doctor indeed- acted passionately. 

"Yahiko, bring me my scisors and a needle! Go!" The doctor shouted, heeding the patient, while Yahiko brought her all the stuff she asked for and stood by her side while she treated the injured person. Each time Megumi thrusted the needle against the fake skin, Yahiko frowned and felt a lump in his throat. Finally, Megumi cut a piece of some splashy stuff from the patient and handed it to him, who just had the time to grab it... 

...then collapsed. 

Many actors and people from the staff encircled the fallen boy, looking down to the floor where he layed unawake, the piece of phony flesh still on his hand. Megumi approached in order to look after him -now it was his turn to be the patient. Getting out from the dressing room, finally dressed up, Kenshin was able to see Sanosuke carrying Yahiko out of the set and Megumi following him. 

"Hobby-sama, did _sessha_ miss anything?" Tsubame buzzed on his ear what happened to Yahiko. The ex-_rurouni_, nodding at each word, concluded just afterwards. "Hm... Maybe we should take him to 'Card Captor Sakura' set?" 

Pat just sighed, down and out. 

^_^x 

After this disastered incident, Pat had no choice but to release everybody from shooting that day. Kenshin, as usual, remained with him. 

"I failed again, Kenshin... I failed again..." Pat said, drawing a small bottle of whisly from his coat. "As a director I'm a wreck, a piece of shit, a huge and absolute dumbbass..." 

"Don't blame yourself, Hobby-sama. All of us did. But we'll find a way. _Sessha_'s sure we will." 

Pat opened his laptop to write what would be the next day's option and tried to keep the mood up, but a message on his e-mail box came to wreck any straw of hope that had ever remained on him. The director started to read it, turning desperate-faced at each second he stared at the notebook screen. By his side, Kenshin was uneasy. "Hobby-sama? What's up?" 

The director closed his laptop and stared forawrd, to nowhere. "It's a message from Mr. Watsuki. The TV channel demands the tapes for tomorrow, untill five o'clock in the evening. If we don't give them the tapes... The show's gone. Rurouni Kenshin will be just the bitter memory of a failed project by this time tomorrow." 

_**To be continued**_

.:Author's Notes:. Hello, there! 'Wanna clear up a spot in this chapter, cuz we had again an allusion to the original "Pat Hobby Does His Bit", by F. Scott Fitzgerald: the accident with the fourth crook that should be in the first scene, that reminded the director something. Well, in the original story, something simillar happened to Pat (but I won't tell what it was, otherwise I'll be a spoiler to someone who doesn't know the story wants to read it!).  
And so we're coming closer to the end of this story! All the unanswered questions will be absolutely cleared up on the next chapter. Why did Kaoru leave the cast? Will they be able to save the show? How will Pat end up with his job? Will they succeed in trying to get along without Kaoru? If you ever want to know, wait for the next -and last- chapter.


	5. 4 Olny One Way Out

Try To Get Along Without Kaoru

**4- Only one way out**

Pat Hobby had a few tapes in his hands, and one was being played. An imense body with no head in sight of eyes (just like "Muppet Babies"'s Nanny) pointed a threatening finger to his face, yelling angrily afterwards. "Pat Hobby, this tapes are a real piece of shit! You are FIRED!" 

Pat retreated and begged in a chicken voice. "Please, Mr. Watsuki! Don't do that to me..." Suddenly the earth opened beneath his feet and he was dragged to an imense fall. When finally reaching the floor, he could see he was on a wide street and, all around him, Rurouni Kenshin characters were exhibiting their poverty: Sanosuke was curled on a torn blanket, begging money; ahead of the cars stopped on the red traffic light, with their noses dyed in red, Yahiko and Kaoru made comic clowny kendo demonstrations with their sword, asking for money to the drivers afterwards; on a corner, Yumi offered her body for money; sitting on the sidewalk, Shougo played the guitar, an empty hat in front of him; coming back and forth, Enishi tried to sell books. Pat stared uneasy, when he saw Kenshin coming closer. He thought he'd find in him some comfort, but the peaceful _rurouni_ had yellow eyes and glared at him in a treatening way. Once again Pat retreated, then called his friend name, who answered raising his sword. "My name is Battousai, the Slashman!" 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" 

"Pat-sama?" He felt a pair of hands shaking him. "Pat-sama, what's up? Are you feeling alright?" 

Pat Hobby blinked twice, putting the place in sight. When he'd done that, he jumped from his skin to see Kenshin's face in front of him. Laying on his car, he pulled his body back and panted. "May I call you Kenshin?" 

"Well, Hobby-sama... That's _sessha_'s name, _de gozaru yo_." 

"'_De gozaru yo_? Did you say _de gozaru yo_?" 

Kenshin smiled and brushed the back of his neck. "_Hai_, _sessha_ said '_de gozaru yo_'!" 

"Did you say '_sessha_'?" 

Kenshin frowned kind of confused. "_Hai_, _sessha_ said '_sessha_'." 

"Phew!" Pat raised his eyebrowns. "I think I had a nighmare..." 

"_Sessha_ realized." Kenshin chuckled. "So, did Hobby-sama decide anything for today?" 

"Kind of, Kenshin buddy." Pat got out from his car and leaded to the set, blue in his brown eyes. "I think Rurouni Kenshin has no solution at all..." 

"A-are you sure of it, Hobby-sama?" Kenshin lowered his head, a serious expression. 

"Sure, Kenshin-kun. But what I mean is: Kao-chan's role had a strict relationship with yours. I had been thinking that, without her, we can do nothing!" 

Kenshin nodded seriously. The clouds covered the sky and turned the morning into a grey and desert piece of flat, as if it all was nothing but fiction -and that was how Kenshin felt. "_Sessha_ can't believe it's all true... No more Rurouni Kenshin..." 

"Yeah, my fellow... I feel empty too..." 

"And what is Hobby-sama going to do now?" 

"Wait till everybody's there... Tell them the bad news... Release everybody... Apologize... And ask the cleaners to sweep away the Akabeko, the Kamyia _dojo_, Genzai-sensei's clinic..." Pat sighed, his head down. 

In any other situation, Kenshin would hold his ground and say they shouldn't give up, but even him knew it would be useless to try anything. He knew they had a perfect harmony while working all together, but he knew also that they couldn't do anything without one of them... Specially someone so important, as Kaoru-dono was... 

It was gloomily that Pat sat on his foldable chair and raised his megaphone. His metallic voice didn't seem strong. On the contrary, it seemed defeated and, since he talked his first word, all the coming cast knew it would be the end. "My fellows... The news I have for you are not the best ones... They're not alike the ones I'd like to say, not at all... We were overwhelmed..." 

Silence fell heavily over each head on the set, from cast to staff, and even the cleaners felt a lump on their throats as Pat went on with his speech. "We tried hard to keep our show on, but... It didn't do. Yesterday I recieved a note from Mr. Watsuki, demanding the tapes for today, at five. If we haven't given the TV channel the first episodes by this time... Well, you know what. And even if we can whip up the best solution for today, we won't be able to shoot enough, not even the first episode. So, I think it's the dead end for us. I apologize for my having failed with all of you, but you are nice actors. And I'm sure you'll be able to find another job soon. All in all, it was nice to work with all of you... Good luck my fellows, you are released." Pat ended up his speech, brushing his face sadly. 

The cast was startled. Some girls cried, some men punched the ground, and even the vilains allowed themselves to push selfishness aside and get annoyed too. And, among that "goodbye" atmosphere, a weasel came running from the crowd and grabbed Pat's shirt. "It's not fair! We've put all of our effort on it, and since we still have seven hours till the deadline, we'll try to save the show! You can't just slip out like this!" 

Taking the girl from Pat's top, Aoshi tried to ponder. "Misao, Pat-sama has already told us why it is useless. Stop being stubborn." 

"Shut up!" the girl skrieched, trashing over in the _okashira_'s clench. "You're telling this 'cause you have a side job as a top model in Yves Sait-Lauent!" The _okashira_ got extremely ashamed and, below all the cast's gaze, he gave up in trying to stop the outbursting girl. 

"Misao-dono, it's useless..." Kenshin approached. "Without Kaoru-dono we can do nothing... It's rough, but we have to accept that it's the end..." Kenshin grabbed the sides of the girl's arms, pulling her aback. "Sometimes art reflects real life..." 

The _ninja_ raised her head suddenly, as if an idea occured to her. "Wait! Himura, what did you say?" 

"_Sessha_ said it's useless, cause--" 

"No! I mean, the 'art-reflects-life' stuff!" 

"Why do you want _sessha_ to repeat if you know the whole stuff?" 

Misao smiled, releasing herself, then whacked Kenshin on the top of his head. "_Himura no baka!_ That's obvious, why didn't we think about it all this time?" 

"What are you talking about, Missy?" Pat raised himself. 

"It's simple: we can do nothing without Kaoru around. So the solution is bringing her back!" 

Everybody got silent, many eyebrowns were raised. Pat scratched his head and turned to Misao patiently. "Missy... We did think about it, but--" 

"NO! I know you thought about it, it would be the first idea that any idiot would have, but you didn't think about the right way to bring her back!" 

"Oh really, Missy-know-it-all?" Pat asked skeptically. "And what is your mighty idea?" 

"Pat _no baka_ too!" Misao said, hiting the director's head on its top. "Didn't you pay attention to what Himura said?" 

"Not really..." Kenshin fell back, his legs up. 

"He said 'Art reflects real life'. And, knowing about Kaoru-chan's digging Himura, can you imagine what was the reason she left for?" 

Pat looked aside and, as if it had been set, all the actors said together, as a blowing wind. "KENSHIN!" 

The puzzled _rurouni_ retreated in fright. "Misao-dono, what do you think _sessha_ can do?" 

"Why did Kaoru-chan leave?" 

"_Sessha_ doesn't have a clue... Well, at least not that _sessha_ can remember..." 

"Himura, when was the last time you talked to Kaoru-chan?" 

"Hm... it was that very day. We were shooting a scene, then Kaoru-dono suddenly walked away." 

"Do you remember wich scene was it?" 

"Quite a normal scene: _sessha_ was supposed to ease Kaoru-dono after her beating Yahiko-kun for having spitted the food she cooked. Instead, Kaoru-dono hit _sessha_ and left." 

"Wait!" Misao placed her finger along her cheek thoughtfully. "You said 'food'? There must be anything to do with Kaoru-chan's food." 

"Well, I don't know if it would be of any help" Kanryuu pointed "but I recall having seen Battousai and the girl at a cafeteria the day before her leaving the show." 

Many people looked suspiciously to the opium pusher. Misao, facing the criminal, turned sideways. "Is it true, Himura?" 

"_Hai_! Takeda-san's not lieing. _Sessha_ invited Kaoru-dono out, _de gozaru yo_." 

Then it was Kenshin's turn to get people startled. "YOOOOOOOOOU?" Misao couldn't believe. "Himura, do you mean that YOU invited her out?" 

"Well, it was almost like this." 

The weasel girl sighed in relief. "Ah, I was already asking myself if you might be sick or what kind of miracle it meant. Well, so tell us how it happened exactely..." 

Kenshin seemed annoyed with this comment of Misao's, but he went on. "Well, when we finished shooting on that day, Kaoru-dono invited _sessha_ to have dinner with her. But _sessha_ knows how Kaoru-dono hates cooking, so he invited her out. _De Gozaru yo_." 

Nobody could figure any reason out for some minutes, but Misao and Pat stood thoughtful. Suddenly, the director taped his forehead violently. "Fucking hell! I had told her to take cooking classes!" 

"What?" Misao and Kenshin asked in unison. 

"Some weeks ago, Kaoru-chan came asking for advice on how to make a man fall in love with her. I thought it was a joke, so I said that my mom made me fall in love with her because she cooked very well, then I suggested her take cooking classes!" 

"For Geddy's sake, so that's why she invited you to have dinner with her, Himura!" 

"And that's why she insisted on _sessha_'s coming to her house!" 

"And you refused?" Pat asked flatly, raising his eyebrown. 

"_Hai_." 

"YOU REFUSED AN INVITATION TO GO ALONE TO A GILRL'S HOUSE?" 

"Shouldn't _sessha_?" 

All the man in the set, including Pat Hobby, fell back, their legs up. When back to normal position, Hiko laughed. "You see? When I call him "_baka deishi_" you say I'm cruel. Go on, everybody! Say he's not a _baka_! Call me cruel now!" 

"Well, what matters is that we've already found out what caused Kaoru to leave: art reflecting life." Megumi concluded. 

"Exactely. Now we must bring her back!" Misao got up cheerful, though nobody followed her. "What now?" 

"'still dunno how do ya imagine tha' we could do this." Sanosuke shook his shoulders. 

"You don't but I do. If art reflects life, so we can't distinguish what's true and what's reflection!" 

Silence. Okina got up annoyedly and shouted. "Aoshi! Did you lend her your Frank Zappa albums again?" 

Misao hopped with anger. "Ow, come on! What I'm telling is that, if art reflects life, so life reflects art too. And that's how we'll bring Kaoru back and save the show: pay attention to my plot!" 

^_^x 

"Hello, Kaoru-san. It's Sayo." 

The metallic voice on the other side of the telephone would have made Kaoru glad in other times -because it meant something to do at night-, but that very day it came much for the _kendo_ mistress displeasure. "Hi, Sayo..." she answered with a downcast tune on her voice. 

"Guess what, my friend: I got promoted on Rurouni Kenshin's story!" 

"Really? Oh, it makes me very proud of your! So tell me, what's your new role?" 

"I'm the leading woman!" 

"WHADDAYA SAY OUT THERE??" 

"Oh... Didn't you get happy for my promotion?" 

"NO!... I mean, yes, of course I did, my dear..." Kaoru tried to swallow the rage and recompose herself. "I'm very happy that you got it, you really deserve it. And... how does it play now?" 

"Well, I'm still a priestess, I live at a temple with my brother and Shouzo... Ah, and we had to make some slight changes on the _dojo_ flat." 

"Erm... I see..." Kaoru smiled sickly, finding it hard to endure the thought of the _dojo_ scenery with crosses and dye-glass windows all around. "And what about the other characters?" 

"Ah, Sanosuke's still coming to the temple to eat. Yahiko's turned to my altar boy. I think that's it. " 

Kaoru felt a lump on her throat. She didn't mean to tell anything, but her curiosity was stronger than her. "And what about Kenshin?" 

"Hihihi. Well... Nothing officially confirmed, but... There have been popping up some comments about my being Himura-san's new pairing..." 

Sayo couldn't see it, but Misao -who was listening their conversation by another phone device- had to muffle her laughs for she knew exactely how Kaoru was then: red, balled fist, angry expression, a paradise to any dentist for she had all of the teeth shown in anger. "Kaoru-san? Are you still there?" 

It took her some minutes to be able to answer without getting obvious that she was mad. "rrrYeah, I'm here. And I'm... rrrrVery happy for you. For you all. I see you could develop well without me." 

"Oh, we had to find a way, but I think we got along just fine. So, why don't you come and see our shooting today?" 

Kaoru coughed. "W-Well, I don't think I'll be able to, I have other settings for today and..." 

"Awh, Kaoru-san, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease? We're all counting on you today! Don't let us down, ok? See you here at the set by thirteen o'clock!" 

"N-N-No! Wait, Sayo, I--" Kaoru tried yet to dissuade her friend from that idea, but she was interrupted by the disheartening metallic doo-doo-doo-ing from the phone device. She couldn't just run away, or she'd dissapoint all of her ex-mates -and after all, the problem was not with them, it was with Kenshin, that insensitive #^&$!%@*... So, trusting her self-assurance, she grabbed her coat and left to the set, trying to look brave and mighty. 

At the set, everybody was celebrating the success on the first part of their plan. Sayo clasped her chaplet -apologizing God for her having lied- and got to a corner while the rest of the cast, plus Pat, fixed things up for the time Kaoru would arrive. They had to seem naturally acting, but it wouldn't be any difficult for them: they were actors after all... 

^_^x 

From behind a lamppost, struggling to keep balance on his bike, Yahiko snooped with the corner of his eyes, waiting for the moment Kaoru would pass by. When first taking a glimpse of the girl's approaching, he rode forward and crossed her way, forging a coincidence. "Hey, _busu_!" he waved cheerfully, coming to her direction and encircling her with his bike's movements. 

Inside the Rurouni Kenshin set, Usui heard Yahiko's greeting -even if they were four blocks far- and raised himself. "The girl's coming." All the faces turned to him, as Pat tried to rearrange people in the places they were supposed to be by Kaoru's arrival. After a while of pure hustle and bustle, the place got tense and all the cast fell silent, waiting for the blind swordsman's signal. "She's by the door." 

Pat felt a lump on his throat: it would be their very last chance and he couldn't fail this time. "It's time for the show, folks." His eyes grew ambar and fixedly gazing nowhere towards him -and even Kenshin got affraid of that Pat in Battousai-mode-, while he swallowed heavily a shot of whisky from his pocket bottle and raised his megaphone, thrill trembling up and down his spine. "Rurouni Kenshin first scene, take one...GO!!" 

This very moment Kaoru and Yahiko entered silently the set, the later getting lost among the people at the set, rushing for the dressing room and leaving the further alone for her to get heeding to the shooting. Aimlessly she walked, maybe searching for Pat, maybe for a place to sit down and watch the scene in front of her -it seemed so strange to her... 

Kenshin slashed the three crooks -the fourth one was still at the hospital and would be discharged in tree days- and picked Sayo's fallen body from the floor where she had been attacked, taking her to the church just afterwards. "Cut!" Pat smiled and turned to Kaoru, who stood dumbfounded looking to the shooting. "Hey, folks! Look who came to see us shooting!" Then got up and hugged her friendly. 

Kenshin's eyes glimmered when he saw Kaoru's embaraced expression, while his companions greeted her and she kept on looking for something among the crowd -or somebody. This was his time to carry out with his part in the plot. Fighting a piece of shame, he hugged Sayo by her waist and came closer, as if he was any other actor in there, greeting an ex-companion. "Hey, Kaoru-dono! _Sessha_'s happy to see you around!" 

The attitude of his made the _kendo_ mistress' chicks flush hardly -half due to anger, half due to shame. But at the same time she felt completelly misplaced. "Oh, my... They got along so well without me..." And each of the news about the roles her friends wanted to tell her -and they did it with great felicity- she felt even more out of place. Even Yahiko seemed happy in having to wear a white long gown and western boots instead of fighting _kendo_ like he used to do when she was in the cast. "Yeah... They definitely don't need me..." she sighed while encircled by her ex-mates, drawn into bad thoughts and rejection. But suddenly a shout came to pull her out of it all. 

"I don't agree with it all!" Shouzo came outburstingly from the dressing room. Pat ran to his direction with a real bad temper being shown on his face. 

"Shouzo, we've already talked about it." 

"My role has become useless! There's no need in my being here! I can't accept to loose my job because of Kenshin!" he said, getting ready to a fight with the _rurouni_. "Come, Kenshin. Just one of us can keep here. And that will be the first one to draw blood." 

People opened a glade around Shouzo and his defiant, who came walking cautiously, without drawing his sword though. With a serious expression, he raised his hands and pondered. "Shouzo, _sessha_ doesn't want to fight, but he doesn't want to be unemployed either. So, _sessha_ guesses we have no solution at all." At this, Kaoru tried to step forward, but Sanosuke grabbed her shirt and hindered her. She searched for Pat Hobby, but the director had disappeared. All she could do was stare. 

Kenshin and Shouzo faced each other seriously, in position to satrt a fight in each moment: Kenshin ready to a _battoujutsu_, Shouzo still, with his bare and flat hands. Some tense minutes were spent like this, then the later started assaulting. The further drew his sword and defended himself, attacking just afterwards and wounding the challenger's shoulder with the back of his sword. With the slight slipping of a blooddrop, Kenshin replaced his sword on the sheath and concluded. "It's over, Shouzo. It was a fair challenge and we're done." 

Kneeling on the ground, Shouzo squinted angrily. "Not yet, my fellow. I wasn't defeated yet." He said, getting up again. Kenshin avoided him as much as he could without drawing his sword, but soon he had no other way out but to use his _sakabatou_. Their fray went on growing more and more serious at each movement -and Kaoru went on growng more and more desperate-, while everybody around just stared, not daring to meddle with a fair fight between men. Everybody exept one person. 

Kenshin's eyes got wide and as he opened his mouth, head up, he spitted some drops of blood. Shouzo was still on his fight position and nobody understood what wounded the ex-slashman, for it couldn't be Shouzo. Finally taking notice of what happened, Yutarou pointed to behind Kenshin: there kneeled Sayo, grabbing a _kozuka_, wich _gokatana_ was thrusted on the swordsman's back. She pulled it out of his body, causing him to fall, then ran away, being followed by Shouzo just afterwards. 

Kaoru choked. Looking around she saw no motion. "I-Is it a shot? Are you shooting any scene?" She asked, turning to every side of hers, but no answer came. Desperately she ran to the center of the open glade and kneeled by Kenshin's side, waiting to listen to Pat Hobby's angry voice shouting "cut" -but none came. She stood looking to her petrifyed ex-mates, not knowing exactelly what to do or think, when she felt a sudden tug on her arm: it was Kenshin, who stood fallen on the ground. Clenching tight his _gi_ she shrieked. "Kenshin, it's just a shooting, isn't it? Tell me it's fake!" 

"_Sessha_..._Sessha_ doesn't know... cough!cough!" 

"What? Whaddaya mean by "_sessha_ doesn't know? What is it all about, uh?" 

"Some-- Sometimes... Art reflects... real life... cough!cough!" Kenshi cried, the most pitifully anyone can imagine. 

Kaoru shook her head, panting desperatelly. "So... So this blood... It's not fake!" 

"_Sessha_ doesn't know... Remember... what happened with... Enishi and Kaoru-d--dono..." Kenshin said stiffenedly, then his head fell back dead on the ground. Kaoru tried to shake him, wake him up, but seeing it was useless, she just drew her face between her hands and cried. "Kami-sama! Kami-sama, how I'd like it not to be any true at all! How I'd love to hear Pat-san's voice shouting--" 

"Cut!" The dirctor's shout pierced Kaoru's thought, making her raise her head quizzically. Just afterwards, all the people that stood around started moving away; Shouzo and Sayo appeared from the dressing room as if nothing had happened; much for Kaoru's surprise, Kenshin got up, wiping the dirt from his clothes. Not knowing exactelly how to react, she pulled him closer and hugged him, whacking his head just afterwards! "What is it, after all? Kenshin, you stupid mocking dumbass!" 

"_Sessha_ said art reflects life." Kenshin smiled, brushing the spot Kaoru had punched on his head. 

"Uh? I didn't get it!" 

"_Sessha_ will explain you: it would surely have happened in real life if we had given the show time enough to develop this way. But we would have no need of making this kind of change if Kaoru-dono hadn't left us." 

"So... So it means that..." 

"That we've set it all up to bring you back. Because it's impossible for the Rurouni Kenshin people to even try to get along without Kaoru-dono, _de gozaru yo_." 

"Is... Is it true?" Kaoru hid her face behind her flat hands -for she blushed violently. 

"For sure it is, Kaoru-dono." 

"So... All this time you were tricking me?" Kaoru's mild face started growing stony and raging. "And you fooled me with no pity of how I would feel, by having been easily replaced and for seeing my friend being killed by a mate of us?" 

"Uh... Erm..." Kenshin smiled sickly, raising his flat hands to his shoulder's heigh. " _Sessha_ thinks 'fooling' is a very strong word and-- ORORO????" 

Kenshin's eyes had a reason for having gotten oro-mode. "Strong? You'll see something much more powerful, Kenshin Himura!" the girl smiled amuckly and drew her _boken_. She violently pummeled Kenshin's head, runing after him while he tried to scape from her assault -still oro-faced. It definitely meant that Kaoru had come back to the place she belonged to. By five, the tapes were delivered at the TV channel building and the following day would be a normal shooting day -if Kaoru would have already stopped hunting and hitting the poor _rurouni_. 

^_^x 

.:Author's Notes:. Yeah! It's finally over! I made it shorter than I first thought it to be, but I think things got better this way. So? What did you think? Flames? Sugestions? Cursing on me? Haxes? Giving me your telephone number (oh! it deserves laughs...)? Put a "coin" on my reviews box and make me smily and thankful! 

****CREDITS****  
Invented, writen, erased, re-writen, spellchecked and bared by **_Misao Silent-mode_** -that's me  
Thank You's:  
**_Watsuki-sensei_** for having created Kenshin and his folks (applause)  
_**F. Scott Fitzgerald**_ for having writen "Pat Hobby Does His Bit" -and having, in this very story, taught me many expressions, such as "cut", "shoot", "flat" and other cinema stuff (applause)  
_**"EVA 01"**_ (that's my computer's name -ehehe) for behaving as a gentleman and not causing me to re-boot it dozens of times (OOOOOOOOH! applause)  
_**Prudence-chan**_ for having said that my fics don't suck (and like this avoiding me to heave from the window down for being an awesome writer) (tomatoes on her -"why didn't you encourage her to suicide, you @#%&$^*?!?!")  
_**Mom**_ for paying the bills and allowing me to do nothing but write this kind of useless stories  
If anybody has reached this point, _**You**_ (I'm hard to endure, congrat's!) 


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